Fear

fear is a ugly emotion that rears it ugly head at any moment. But if Fear has been your partner for the last few years? The signs are there yet you pray and hope you are wrong!

What if the horse you see will never be the horse you want? The horse who is your soul mate yet on another level they are the devil's spawn?

The more I think of it, the more I want to weep. Because the signs are there for Belladonna. There in Black & White with no shades of gray. Yet I don't want to loose hope, but when I see and remember the chaos she has brought, I worry deeply.

Do I feel she is safe? For me, for others no! Is she dangerous, as dangerous as a animal who feels she must shut herself down and fight with whom ever.

I have for years been thinking to send her out to people but I won't. I am afraid she'll kill herself or kill some one else.

I have never had issues with her or felt like I was in danger. She always been my friend and partner. soft and at times she can be stubborn but I have never been injured by her. Never a kick or a step on my toe, she is respectful of where I am at.

But let some one else handle her and she becomes the spitting fury of hate, she shuts her self off and will actually injure herself to get away from people. She now tolerates my husband to lead her from one pen to the next and to trim her hooves with some show of  fits.